February 22–noncompete clause:  The part of a contract that prevents disemployed (in most cases) high-level execs from working for the competition for a stipulated length of time; its message can be summed up as “We don’t find you useful anymore, but don’t go trying to make yourself feel better by finding someone at our competition who does.  Do us a favor and be professionally paralyzed/feel bad about yourself for a few months.  Thanks!”

February 23–security guard:  Wanna-be cops who take their jobs way too seriously and won’t let you in the building without your ID even though they see you every day; after 9/11, these individuals became increasingly fascist and they are not even subject to flirtation or assertion of one’s status, but will still give superhot chicks a pass.

February 24–self-starter:  Someone who is deemed to need no supervision, guidance, external motivation, or training in order to do the job and is brought into an irrevocably damaged situation and will vainly attempt to fix it; a gung-ho person whom it is great fun for crusty vets to watch as he or she slowly self-destructs.

February 25–sense of urgency:  Feeling of panic that may or may not be legitimate, as many employees will affect a harried demeanor to give the impression that they are working hard; often contributes to increased inefficiency and additional mistakes born out of an atmosphere of chaos.